The Fix Is In

Thru various illicit sources, Mr. Fixit was able to find out that the ATF had added Swamp Sloth and the Troll 1%’ers as an official mafia sponsored go-gang to a list of suspects in an ongoing criminal investigation.  Mr. Fixit had also learned that Lone Star is starting a new special task force assigned to stopping the crack-cocaine menace in the city of Everett.  Swamp Sloth and Machine-Head Mac will have to respond to this information and might have to make changes to their criminal enterprise.

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Israel Shazbar’s Lone Star contact informs him that Geraldo Rivera’s special task force is looking into the Tacoma Sniper; knowing that Israel spends time in Tacoma.  At first Israel might think nothing of this tip off but then it accurse to him that the Tacoma Sniper incident has to do with the kidnapping of INN news reporter Maria de Soto Sanchez-Green; a kidnapping in which Israel was the kidnapper.  Geraldo has pieced together that there must be a highly proficient sniper in the region acting without impunity: in one situation killing high profile mob targets, in others popping off defenseless security agents, and in what Rivera must guess is the sane sniper; shooting the camera of the kidnapped reporter.  Israel Shazbar’s image was never recorded during that kidnapping due in part to the Tacoma Sniper; Nigel Finely.  And in second part, dear reader, to a well timed missile from Machine-Head Mac.  But eye witness on the scene might tip Geraldo off to Shazbar and that did make Israel have to make plans for preparedness.

Mr. Good Cats’ judge and district attorney contacts have informed him that Geraldo Rivera has stepped up his efforts with a joint Lone Star task force to find what Geraldo has labeled the Tacoma Sniper.  Mr. Good Cats knows as Nigel Finely, an expatriated former SAS special forces might draw suspicion and it would only be a matter of time before Nigel’s contacts would inform him that Geraldo had acquired a warrant for his home.  That did give Mr. Good Cats an opportunity to lay a trap for the star journalist.

Mr. Good Cats would be able to move his belongings and vehicles from his home in Tacoma and move them across town to his warehouse, which was held under an assumed name.  Mr. Good Cats would set interesting traps for the gumshoe investigator that would be encroaching on his home.  Enough enticing evidence would be left to allure the ancient journalist into a trap.  Nigel Finely was an expert sniper, that is for sure dear reader; but Nigel also had a passion for making things explode.  Shaped charges of military chemical explosives would be left to ensure that Geraldo’s last story would end in a bang.

Looks like dear reader your enemies are Lone Star, the ATF, and the 122 year old Robo-Geraldo

Things Too Do

Things to do dear reader?  Many things indeed!  Let us take one thing Kareem said he was capable of doing and run with that.  Bargain away the young daughter of Kareem’s to the paragon-witch: Baba Yaga.

So let us set a scene: on some distant material plane world, in the foot hills of tall jagged snow topped mountains, in the outskirts of a barbarian encampment is a lone hut; surrounded by a picket line of spears topped with skulls.  While the climate of the region would lead one to believe that the location of the barbarian village should be suffering thru yet another wet and snowy winter, the valley that houses the hut of Baba Yaga seems to have temperature and condition that is unseasonably comfortable.

By some magical assistance or perhaps upon the back of a white dragon; the cursed Kareem did arrive.  Passing bravely past the ring of skulls that encircle the hut, Kareem notices a familiar figure: that of the Elder Sky God.  Kareem remains silent; waiting what he expects to be an aged and frail witch.  The Elder Sky God is the one to break the silence with a snide remark; something along the lines of well if arcane and divine magic can’t help you might as well get a hag: a curse for a curse! Note dear reader this is a take of the soul for a soul theme.

Kareem is invited into the hut by a young and vibrate woman; not the same Baba Yaga Kareem had meet before.  Kareem’s keen mind takes several things into consideration before passing the threshold of Baba Yaga’s hut.  Oh dear reader, let us take note of the Elder Sky God waiting outside and leave other suspicions for a bit longer.

Let us now build up some the paranoia Kareem might have confronting not only Baba Yaga but what might appear to be a more powerful incarnation.  Kareem should be worried about entering the hut while most deals have been done out in the yard.  Kareem should note that Baba Yaga knows the slaadi that once held Kareem’s soul; something that Kareem himself does not know.  Kareem might know that Baba Yaga’s goal was once to regain her youth and vigor; and if it appears Baba Yaga has done that: then what is left for the witch to do herself?

So what is the conversation between Kareem and the youthful Baba Yaga like?  Well dear reader I am sure you would pay a pretty penny to have been a fly on the wall in that room.  But this Baba Yaga controls the walls of her hut; so not even a fly would get by unnoticed.  So maybe dear reader we should just talk key points.

·        Some of the Gods are not as powerful as Kareem thinks and others more so.   One should note that until Kareem does yet another Dark Deal for the God of Locks and Doors; that particular godling is still of Lesser status and not Greater.  Maybe dear reader, Baba Yaga lets Kareem know that the Elder Sky God might be in a transitionary period and not of full power.

·        Oh dear reader, do you think Baba Yaga’s restoration of youth was caused by the Elder Sky God directly or perhaps thru some work around: something that Baba Yaga did not know or could access but the Elder Sky God could.  Baba Yaga was in the Swamp of Spiritsend looking for something.  The Temple of the Elder Goblin God was in the Swamp of Spiritsend.  Somehow thru a work around the Vampire Chick was able to reawaken her sleeping godling master.  Perhaps dear reader Kareem can find a work around the Divine Curse that has stolen Kareem’s divine spark.

·        Wizards and male wizards unparticular would be wise to avoid Baba Yaga: and so most do.  In Baba Yaga’s time in the world of Birthright; Baba Yaga’s actions were focused around the manipulating weak-willed warriors.  The arcane powers of the region did not get caught up in trying to sanction the witch.  The Imperial Chamberlain did nothing to stop Baba Yaga in the guise of the Swamp Mage from deceiving both Kareem and Duke Nightmare in the Imperial City.  The High Mage Aelies got the closest but his scouting party in the swamp was annihilated.  Baba Yaga knows nothing of Seoras or his intentions, but Baba Yaga can let Kareem know that Seoras has done several things.  Seoras was indeed the one that kidnapped his daughter, Hermedhie.  And Hermedhie is being kept in some kind of temporal status in the Court of the Seelie (the good fay creatures of the Spirit Realm).  Seoras is working in the Swamp of Spiritsend, doing something to the ruins of the Temple of the Elder Goblin God.

Oh dear reader do you think Kareem had to give up his second born child, his only daughter, for several useful points of information?  Maybe but probably not.  The Shade Kareem has any items, tokens, pieces of wealth, and the like to deal with the witch to maybe not to have to give up his daughter in a dark pack. 

But dear reader, do you think perhaps Kareem secretly wanted to dump his daughter off in the pursuit of power.  Hermedhie lost in a dark deal to have one of her daughters trained and instead her daughter was turned into a hag.  If Baba Yaga was given the blood, the very soul, of Kareem’s child that it would share the same fate as the Wretched Lady in White?  Then dear reader you need to start expecting the unexpected a little more.

the solo adventures

Once upon a time, dear reader; a small tribe of Kuo-Toa summoned several Rutterkin demons to serve them.  In the chaotic world of the Underdark; the Kuo-Toa and the Rutterkin fought a daily battle for survival.  The bitter grind would eventually claim all but one of the Rutterkin servitors.  And it was at this point dear reader our story gets a bit more interesting.

With but one remaining demon slave; the chief of the Kuo-Toa struck upon the idea to have the sole surviving Rutterkin be trained in magic by the tribe’s witch-doctor.  In time the Rutterkin would gain an understanding of the language of the Underdark but the witch-doctor could not train the Rutterkin in the fine arts of black magic.  It would not be until a fateful encounter till the Rutterkin would gain new magical power.

One day a Kuo-Toa hunting party would come across a lone human: dirty, near starved to death, and mad from being lost in the darkness.  An easy meal.  The Kuo-Toa did not take a live prisoner but rather returned to the tribe with the prized carcass of the hunt.  Before the human would be feasted upon the tribe’s shaman would perform ritual and ceremony.  And it was during this macabre spectacle, dear reader, that the tribe’s shaman would discover that the human had a false and magical tooth.

The magical tooth was extracted and presented to the chief.  The chief would not touch the very foreign tooth and would assign the witch-doctor to investigate.  In time the witch-doctor would come to the conclusion that it once belonged to a human wizard and was fashioned for some magical purpose.  The witch-doctor did not care if the human found was the wizard or another human because at that point the body had been eaten. The witch-doctor did want to figure out the power of the tooth and the witch-doctor happened to have a Rutterkin servitor that was rather lacking in any other purpose.  So the witch-doctor placed the magic tooth in the Rutterkin.

The transformation was gradual: at first the Rutterkin began to study the witch-doctors actions more closely.  Then in time the Rutterkin would begin to look over the written material of the witch-doctor’s spell collection.  And eventually the Rutterkin would gain and understanding of the black magic arts.  And it was at this point, dear reader, that the Rutterkin would attack and slay the witch-doctor.  The Rutterkin gathered up the witch-doctor’s spell collection of books, scrolls, and odd components and fled from the Kuo-Toa.

The Kuo-Toa chief did not liked to be spurred by anyone and sent out hunting parties after the Rutterkin.  The demonic Rutterkin would survive for awhile in the Underdark and at a few points it even looked liked the Rutterkin was going to escape the Kou-Toa and start an out life anew.  But that would not be the Rutterkin’s fate at this point, dear reader.  While escaping the Kuo-Toa; the Rutterkin would encounter a patrol of drow and would be torn down without much of a fight.  The magic tooth forever lost on some alien world.

The Rutterkin would reform in time and in much agony of pain, torment, and anguish on the first layer of the Abyss. And at this point, dear reader, the Rutterkin began to start out life anew.  The Rutterkin would fashion a new focus item, a magical tooth.  The Rutterkin would begin to gather other resources and begin develop personal customs while trying to survive in the Abyss.  The Rutterkin would develop a person code for dealing with demons and mortals.  The Rutterkin would develop combat strategies and acquire a few items and weapons.  Once the Rutterkin had acquired his redemarrant he would be able to resume his operandus modi.

And that dear reader should catch us up to where we are going to start. The Rutterkin has developed a new magic focus item, acquired some items and weapons, and the Rutterkin is eager to advance in magical power. Yes, dear reader: it does appear we are ready for an adventure.

Hotel California

Greetings dear readers and welcome to more writings of dungeon master fiat. I once had a Game Master play the titular song on loop while assaulting my play group with Renraku Red Samurai. So with that spirit of no escapism let us set the stage for the solution to the Duke Nightmare Revenge Squad.

Place: the secret meeting locale of the Duke Nightmare Revenge Squad, the City of Hopeless in the Outlands

List of Characters in no real particular order:

The Second Sword Mage and his wife - This pair would hold up a good fight dear reader. Even without the aid of their summoned demon minions; these two demonologists would fight off all advances until the combined might of the bold and brave pairing of Captain Holocaust and the Shade could confront their accursed foes. The Shade would capture the soul of the Second Sword Mage and I believe dear reader you know what Captain Holocaust would do with the wife of the Second Sword Mage. It should be noted that the Second Sword Mage's wife is a blood relative to the Archduke of Boeruine's wife. Forces like the Lesser Wizard's Cabal, The Monster's Society (of Evil), and members from the Royal Flush Gang: Hearts would assault the demon summoners.

The Lich Zod and the Mind Flayer #2 - Sephiroth would confront the lich and strike a deal. Zod then would go on to murder his mind flayer ally to demonstrate loyalty to the new side he now served.

The Time Bandit - The avatar of the New Dragon God, Duso Lamonte would confront and finally defeat the last foe from the Tower of el-Hadid.

The Shark and the Dwarf (resurrected) - Once upon a time dear reader, Duke Nightmare did defeat a gallant dwarven warrior in combat and then raised that warrior to server as skeleton minion. So now dear reader, in a far off land, did the avatar of the being once known as Duke Nightmare get his chance to fight the gallant dwarven fighter now resurrected. Captain Holocaust would engage and defeat the Shark and the Dwarf and claim finally victory in the name of the Mantipede.

The Dragon Skiesbane - This ancient scion of a wyrm was confronted and defeated by the avatars of the Elder Sky God (note dear reader, I would believe it would take a few).

The coalition of the Dragon Lifesbane, the Dragon Tarazin the Gray, the Eyeless One, the excommunicated member of the Military Order of Cuiraecen, Fhylie the Sword, and the Imperial Chamberlain - In this confrontation the forces from the Greater Wizard's Cabal and the Royal Flush Gang: Spades would engage these foes. The Elder Sky God had called upon the many allies that the Church of All had gathered under one banner. Members of this new pantheon of power would strike at the dragons of birthright seeking what everyone else seeks in the game of dungeons and dragons: loot and experience. Aspects of ancient gods, demon lords, and young godlings were called into this battle. In other words dear reader; aspects of Zaltec, Yeenoghu, and the demi-god known as Deth. With the overt power that only gods can display the dark pantheon of the Church of All crushed the revenge squad before it could even begin to get moving.

Conclusion - Many were to claim trophies from the various dead beings: Lifesbane, Fhylie, and the Chamberlain. Sephiroth claimed all the loot from the Mind Flayer #2 as did the avatars of the Elder Sky God but for the kill of Skiesbane. Duso took all the loot from the Time Bandit. Captain Holocaust and the Shade would divide the loot from between the Second Sword Mage and his wife. Of particular note: Tarazin the Gray was spared his life by Lucyna the Queen of the Dark Faeries (now good old Grand Ma'ma has a dragon and a dracolich at her command). The Lich Zod would go on to serve Sephiroth until such time that the Archlich did allow Zod to depart on his own accord (and that is something dear reader; one should really take note of). So all in all the Duke Nightmare Revenge Squad has been defeated and the story can advance more.

The New Adventures in Dungeon and Dragons

Richards is playing a yet unnamed half-fiend drow. Sean is Rosco and Zach is Xachioplli. So who are these characters and what are their origins? Well dear reader let us find out.

Richards origins are shrouded in mystery; fore Richard's character himself does not know his true heritage. Sometime when Richards was a small child; his mother fled society because her son was starting to develop fiendish characteristics. For the most part of Richards childhood his mother raised him in the caves of the Underdark.

Richards mother would teach him things like laungaue and how to use his drow abilities. Richards mother would hunt and gather food in the Underdark and teach her child how to survive. This would go on until Richard's character was a young adolescent when his mother was slay by good-aligned adventures.

From this point on Richards was by himself in the Underdark. Richards would harvest his hate for surface dwellers and would grow into an adult utterly alone in the Underdark. During this time Richards would develop the skills that would translate into him becoming a rogue. Richards at some point came across and tricked a group of good-aligned adventures too their doom; during which Richards would acquire his magic sword. Richards interest in the arcane arts and developing his weapon style would lead him to the path of a hex blade.

Eventually Richards became confident in his abilities and would challenge more adventures; usually trying to lure individuals off and defeating them in personal combat. In one of these episodes Richards would defeat a young sorcerer who's familiar would turn out to more than it appeared. The dead sorcerer's familiar revealed itself to be a quasit imp and was angry that Richards had defeated the sorcerer in some manor that did not allow the quasit imp to steal the dead sorcerer's soul.

The quasit sees a way to gain some favor and talks Richards into traveling to the Abyss to meet his master Graz'zt. Richards never meets Garz'zt. Instead the quasit tries to trick Richards into being sold into slavery but Richards reacts quickly enough to save his skin and show his physical might. Agents of Graz'zt are impressed and Richards is invited to join the Knights of Graz'zt as an apprentice.

Richards works hard to prove himself a valuable recruit and starts to worship the demonic might of Graz'zt. Eventually Richards would be given a task that would send him out of the Abyss and into other outer realms. And that is where Richards is going to meet up with our other adventures dear reader.

Roscoe the daring halfling grew up in the Outlands traveling around dealing with demons and devils. Roscoe has become a near mater of craft and just needs targets to prove his skill. Xachipolli is a human who grew up knowing something was different about him. Once Xachipollil dwelled on the prime material plane but has since left and began traveling the outer realms studying dragon magic. During these studies Xachipolli has unlocked something hidden inside himself and is slowing developing dragonic traits.

So dear reader where our adventure will start is with Richards recruiting Roscoe and Xachipolli into joining him on his mission for experience and rewards.