Geraldo Rivera Gun Ring Bust Special

You wake up to find Geraldo Rivera has made headlines; not by writing them but by being the star. Some of the headlines: the Seattle Times reads, “Geraldo Busts Gun Ring,” while the Tacoma Tribune splashes the headline, “Rivera Raises Ruckus in Raid,” and of course INN supports the claim in their headline, “Geraldo Our Hero.” Reading the paper or watching INN for two seconds, you will find out that Geraldo Rivera while embedded with Lone Star shot and killed an armed assailant. More information is needed and the Matrix might hold more answers.

The public video sharing group, Uvid, has clips from INN. One clip shows Rivera shouting, “Freeze mother fucker,” before firing a gun that was intentionally blurred out, as well as the damage inflicted upon the target of Rivera. The Matrix is abuzz about why INN would edit so much, that is classically against their nature. But so is the hiring of the one hundred and seventeen year-old reporter. How Geraldo has managed to live, and look good doing it, for over a hundred years is yet another mystery. But the mystery at hand is two fold: what about Rivera’s gun and the impact damage it caused.

The hackers on the Matrix quickly disseminate the video and brought the original scene into focus. One can clearly see the target of Rivera exploding in a horrible fashion (maybe a war-crime under Hague or Geneva). The victim was either hit with a hollow-point round or an explosive shell. The physics nerds get to work and determine that the wound was caused pretty much dead on, either Geraldo is one helva shot, the bullet or shell might be so big that it is hard to tell the entry point, or that the shell itself sought out the middle of the target to cause maximum damage.

The gun is another story. The massive hand-cannon that Geraldo fired is not like anything seen before. Watching the entire Gun Ring Bust Special you can see Geraldo accompanying Lone Star as they go thru the prep work of staking out the scene while waiting for the warrant to come down from up high. You can see Lone Star breeching the building housing the Gun Ring while Rivera waits outside. And that is when a single suspect emerges from the side of the building and darts away. From what looks to be at least one hundred meters from Rivera to the target, Geraldo screams, “Freeze” and then blasts. You can only see the gun for a glimpse but the hackers on the Matrix eventually figure it out.

The Walher P-44e, an experimental gun that fires shells. The Matrix nerds guess the damage to be from 10-18D (as in deadly). The fact that the gun is so small compared to other shell based weapons and that Geraldo was able to with stand the recoil; only adds yet more mystery to what the fuck Geraldo Rivera is doing in 2060.